In recent weeks, I've had to ask myself the question several times, "Do I really trust you God?" I often find myself answering, "Yes, but...."
Yes, I know you love me, but...
Yes, I know you will work all things out for good, but...
Yes, I know you will provide for my family, but...
Yes, I know my friend is sick and you will always help, but...
The buts are getting in the way. I need to chop them out of my vocabulary. One thing that keeps coming back to me as I read my devotions in the morning, He understands my doubt. I think that's why He choseThomas to be one of His disciples. He knew I would doubt and that I could relate to Thomas very well.
I want to follow Him in every area of my life and I want to go where He leads me. Trusting Him enough to work out the details is the hard part. The thing is, God has a wonderful track record of working out the smallest areas of my life, and yet it is still hard to trust Him with the big stuff. Honestly, he's done a great job with that too.
Recently I watched very dear friends leave a ministry they love, sell their home and find a new job in a different part of the country. God worked out every detail of the new job, the new home, their new church and the sale of their home. It has diminished my doubt that He will do the same for me. It's given me a chance to chop off the buts from the end of my responses. I just need to say, "Yes God, I trust you". No buts about it, I really do."
In recent years, I've come to realize the more details I give God in my prayers, the more he loves to answer them in detail. It is joyful to watch what He does and how He delights in my requests. I used to pray in generalties, such as - "Lord, heal my friend." Now, I tell Him my friend has a severe back problem and the doctors do not know what is wrong, but you do. The area where the pain is, is what I'm asking to be taken away. If this is not your will, then please guide my friend and the doctors in reading the tests accurately, finding the cause and finding a medication that will help him ease his pain. Help him to have rest at night with no pain and to wake up refreshed each morning. Help him to trust you Lord.
God loves the details of our lives and cherishes when we ask Him to take care of them for us. Pray in detail, watch what He does and how your trust of God will grow. You'll notice less "buts" at the end of your conversations with God.