Recently I was given a copy of The National Marriage Project for 2007, a Rutgers University study, done annually since 1999. The Project’s mission is to provide research and analysis on the state of marriage in America and to educate the public on the social, economic and cultural conditions affecting marital success and well-being.
In this year’s essay, Dr. David Popenoe argues that the long-term trends point to the gradual weakening of marriage as the primary social institution in America. He attributes this weakening of marriage to:
...a broad cultural shift away from religion and social traditionalism and toward faith in personal independence and tolerance for diverse life styles, otherwise known as 'secular individualism'. This cultural shift is a central feature of modern societies and therefore, unlikely to be reversed.
Secular individualism features the gradual abandonment of religious attendance and beliefs, a strong leaning toward expressive values that are preoccupied with personal autonomy and self-fulfillment.
What struck me is, we're becoming a culture that is more me-dependent and less God- dependent. Our culture is devouring marriage/family and throwing it on the trash pile to idolize self-fulfillment.
This hit a nerve with me. Recently I received a note from a woman in her early 30’s who ended her marriage of almost five years because they “realized that we're great people with a lot to offer, but we were not fully expressing our individual potential with one another.” Hmmm… sounds like self-fulfillment to me.
As Christians, our marriages and families should be reflecting the light of Christ — they’re not. They should be making a difference for Christ — they’re not. More and more, we are adapting to our culture instead of our culture adapting to us.
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. - Romans 12:2(NLT)
We should be making a difference.
- Is our Lord an inconvenience in our day-to-day busyness?
- Are we spending time in church and in community will fellow believers?
- Are we taking time to know our neighbors and do life with them?
- Are we self-serving or other-serving?
- Are our days filled with what is on the “me” list?
That’s not the way Christ lived his life.
...Neither should we as His proclaimed followers.
I caught an interesting article at

