Growthtrac insidetrac, Life Changing Marriage Resources

The National Marriage Project

Recently I was given a copy of The National Marriage Project for 2007, a Rutgers University study, done annually since 1999. The Project’s mission is to provide research and analysis on the state of marriage in America and to educate the public on the social, economic and cultural conditions affecting marital success and well-being. 

 

In this year’s essay, Dr. David Popenoe argues that the long-term trends point to the gradual weakening of marriage as the primary social institution in America. He attributes this weakening of marriage to:

...a broad cultural shift away from religion and social traditionalism and toward faith in personal independence and tolerance for diverse life styles, otherwise known as 'secular individualism'. This cultural shift is a central feature of modern societies and therefore, unlikely to be reversed.

 

Secular individualism features the gradual abandonment of religious attendance and beliefs, a strong leaning toward expressive values that are preoccupied with personal autonomy and self-fulfillment.

 

What struck me is, we're becoming a culture that is more me-dependent and less God- dependent. Our culture is devouring marriage/family and throwing it on the trash pile to idolize self-fulfillment.

 

This hit a nerve with me. Recently I received a note from a woman in her early 30’s who ended her marriage of almost five years because they “realized that we're great people with a lot to offer, but we were not fully expressing our individual potential with one another.” Hmmm… sounds like self-fulfillment to me.

 

As Christians, our marriages and families should be reflecting the light of Christ — they’re not. They should be making a difference for Christ — they’re not. More and more, we are adapting to our culture instead of our culture adapting to us. 

 

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. - Romans 12:2(NLT)

 

We should be making a difference.

 

• Is our Lord an inconvenience in our day-to-day busyness?
• Are we spending time in church and in community will fellow believers? 
• Are we taking time to know our neighbors and do life with them?
• Are we self-serving or other-serving?
• Are our days filled with what is on the “me” list? 

 

That’s not the way Christ lived his life. 

 

...Neither should we as His proclaimed followers.

 

 

 

Health Benefits of Tying the Knot

From HealthDay News: Marriage offers real benefits to a person's mental and physical health, research has found. Some examples:

• Better general health than non-married people, and fewer illnesses.
• Lower incidence of alcoholism.
• Lower rate of suicide.
• Fewer average time spent in hospitals than non-married people, and faster rates of recovery.
• Stronger immune system.
• Less risk of depression, and reduced stress and anxiety

Grande Community

I caught an interesting article at Psychology Today. The article talks about the rapid growth of Starbucks and, among other things, attributes that contribute to the "Starbucks experience" — rather than the coffee.

I love Starbucks. But it's not about the coffee. Hey, I love Starbucks coffee, but the reality is their competitors pour a tasty cup — as good or better — than Starbucks.

Excerpts from the article:

Intentionality. "At Starbucks, nothing is accidental. Everything the customer interacts with, from the obsessively monitored store environment down to the white paper cups, is the product of deliberation and psychological research. The coffeehouse as we know it is a calculated creation..."

Community. "Starbucks filled America's need for a public gathering spot... a 'third place' with home and work being place one and two. This became Starbucks' community rallying cry: It wasn't a coffee company, but a place for bringing people together through the social glue of coffee."

The social glue of coffee. Interesting. I regularly drive by several quality coffee shops to get to my Starbucks. (Actually, I have four, but the closest store is my Starbucks.) It's the community; the atmosphere; it's knowing the baristas by name. The coffee is not the point.

When I need to do business — especially relational or spiritual business — my destination of choice is Starbucks. Over the years I've found Starbucks to be an effective environment for date nights, evangelism, and last minute mentoring.

Here's my point(s):

Getting away with your spouse doesn't require major effort. You can pull off a last minute, quality date night for the price of a couple espressos. (No excuses guys!) Get creative. Time away with your spouse doesn't need to break the budget. And an intimate environment (like a Starbucks) will allow you to talk; that's right communicate with your better half. That won't happen at a movie.

(Second thought) Is it possible that we're trying to put God in a box by limiting how he chooses to reach people? In my world, God shows up frequently in a coffee shop. I believe God will use methods we've not seen before to reach people, get people's attention, and transform lives.

Where is your coffee shop?

Incriminating Text Message

SYDNEY (Reuters) - The wife of former Australian cricket champion Shane Warne says their marriage reconciliation is over after he mistakenly sent her an incriminating text message. Read the story. Callahan (his wife) replied, "You loser, you sent the message to the wrong person."  Crazy stuff.

Suing God? ...

What's up with this guy suing God?

Just when you think the stupidity meter on mankind has maxed out…