How to Make Love to Your Wife

From our friend Bowden over at Counseling Notes.

Bailey Molineux is a psychologist in Helena, Montana. Writing in the Independent Record, Dr. Molineux addresses a difficulty in marital therapy:

My favorite question to ask in marital therapy is: “What have you done to contribute to the behavior of your spouse about which you are complaining?”

It usually throws people for a loop because they want to focus on their spouse’s problems and annoyances and not have to look at their own behavior in the marital interaction.

One complaint men may make in couples counseling is the frequency (or infrequency) of sex in the marriage. Dr. Molineux attempts to turn this around; trying to get men to stop focusing on what she’s not doing and start focusing on what they can do. With that in mind, he offers these tips on How to Make Love to Your Wife.

Spend quality or intimate time with your spouse, talking about your day, deep feelings, hopes for the future, etc.

Make sure she feels loved and cherished by you. She should get the message that you are not just interested in sex but in making love to her as a way to express your love for her.

Perhaps one of the most romantic things you can do is to take out the garbage in the morning without being asked. You should share household chores as a way of expressing love to your wife.

Be a patient, gentle, considerate, lover. Be as interested in her pleasure as your own. And honor her request to stop if she is experiencing pain. After all it’s her body not yours.

Don’t grab your wife to initiate love-making. Ask first.

Probably the worst thing you could do to discourage lovemaking is to criticize your spouse for being cold or frigid when you are part of the problem.

You can read the whole article here.