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Emotional Affairs

A great post by Bowden McElroy at Counseling Notes

It's the hot topic these days. Many are lured into a non-physical
emotional attraction, and think it's "okay". It's not.

Thanks Bowden.

Internet addiction a growing concern

CNET  had an excellent article recently concerning the growing concern of  Internet Addiction. 

For some, the Internet it has become an addiction, adversely affecting their lives and their family's lives.

For some people, the Internet may promote addictive behaviors and pseudo-intimate interpersonal relationships, reports Wieland in the journal, Perspectives in Psychiatric Care. "Such cyberspace contacts may result in cyber disorders such as virtual relationships that evolve into online marital infidelity (cybersex) or online sexually compulsive behaviors," she writes.

"Obsession with and craving time on the computer results in neglect of real-life personal relationships to the point of divorce," Wieland says.

Signs and symptoms of Internet addiction include a general disregard for health and appearance; sleep deprivation due to spending so much time online; and decreased physical activity and social interaction with others. Dry eyes, carpal tunnel syndrome, and repetitive motion injuries of the hands and fingers are common.

Internet addicts may also get the "cyber shakes" when off line, exhibiting agitation and typing motions of the fingers when not at the computer.

Targeting the Battle in Soldier’s Hearts

Marriages have always been tested by war. And the latest numbers show that Iraq is no exception.

Close to 27,000 military personnel divorced in 2004. That has the Pentagon launching programs to help.

“It's important that we help these soldiers overcome these sorts of temptations,” said Steve Arterburn of New Life Ministries.

Arterburn's evangelical counseling ministry has sent 20,000 "battle" kits to Afghanistan and Iraq. But this battle is for soldier's hearts, and the goal is sexual purity and faithfulness.

“When we are open and honest, and open up about that temptation, it really takes the power out of it,” Arterburn said.

Air Force Captain Chris Bryant, married for 14 years, is familiar with the struggle. “As soon as you let your guard down,” Bryant said, “Satan's coming in.”

Some believe that Iraq is especially ripe for wreaking havoc in military marriages. Many soldiers are doing long tours, multiple deployments, and working closely with members of the opposite sex.

And so, Arterburn's "battle" kits, complete with Bible and study books, are finding their way into Bible studies in Baghdad.

The standards are high: no unfaithfulness, no flirting, no pornography, and no masturbation.

And the applications are practical. Soldiers are taught to avert their eyes in the presence of someone attractive.

“And then, using Bible verses and Christian music to bounce around in my head to keep those thoughts from taking control,” added Captain Vic Norris.

For Norris, married three years, it is a battle worth fighting. He said, “Every impure thought I have drives a stake between my relationship with Christ, and [between] my relationship with my wife.”

CBN News

Go Bears!

As a wedding pastor, I've only officiated a handful of off-site (non-church) ceremonies. In fact, due to some "less-than-perfect" ceremonies, we try to steer couples away from their dream destination wedding.

Months ago, a couple we mentored — Ashley & Jason — asked if I would officiate their ceremony ... at Soldier Field. What better venue for two Chicago football fanatics!

My concern about these kinds of ceremonies is that they can easily feel like a run-of-the-mill, generic, wedding ritual 'officiated' by a Rent-a-Rev. (I don't like feeling like a Rent-a-Rev.)

 After sharing my concerns, we planned the ceremony as if we would be in our church chapel. The same scripture, message, music, and attention to detail that would set this ceremony apart from the routine location ceremony, and identify this couple as Christ-followers who are following God's design for marriage and prepared for this day with integrity and purity.

It was a great day. Because the ceremony and reception were held at the same location, many more guests attended the ceremony than usual, exposed to the Gospel message and perhaps attending a Christian wedding for the first time.

Holy Ground at Soldier Field...

Photo Credit Tim Coughlin