Couples who has been married for several years, if they’re honest, will tell you they’ve hit rough spots in their marriage. It might be financial, relational, sexual or family related. It’s normal. Yes, normal.
Any time you take two people who’ve been raised by different parents, in different homes, with different values, different ideas about money, sex and love, there will be moments in marriage where you clash.
I believe the true difference in how a marriage will survive is how you approach marriage when things are hard, difficult, or impossible.
A support system is the key element toward working things out.
God
A Church Home
Close Christian friends to do life with (small group/bible study)
A great Christian counselor
The most common arguments I see for not working through tough marriage issues in the Growthtrac forums are -
We don’t pray together
We don’t attend church - we can worship God at home
We don’t have close Christian friends to lean on
We can’t afford a counselor
Understanding the grace and forgiveness of God is key to extending the same grace and forgiveness in your marriage. Attending a house of worship provides a community to come along side you. Our church family has provided gift certificates, food, and prayer when we were out of work. Our small group/bible study was there during the death of our parents. A very wise Christian counselor helped us walk through marriage roadblocks and provided tools for us as parents during the teenage years. Counseling is affordable. Many counselors will consider sliding scale payments based on your financial circumstances and many non-profits do counseling for free.
Seeking out a counselor is not a sign of weakness. Counseling is a strengthening tool for any marriage – even a marriage that seems fairly solid. The Godly wisdom, direction and tools provided by a counselor will help many marriages get through the “hard” times.
If you have a spouse who is unwilling to get the help needed for your relationship, please prayerfully consider seeking the help you need for yourself. It only takes one willing heart to take a step forward to strengthen a struggling marriage.