Intentional Marriages

Intentional Marriages Highlight Classical Virtues

We think the idea of intentionality is one of the most important concepts we can share with our couples. The concept is based on the idea that couples need to invest in their relationships over the long-term to keep their marriages strong. By “leaning toward” their partner, making interactions as positive as possible and making timely contributions to marital happiness the relationship is fed and grows over time.

Now, a new study of 100 married couples reported in Science and
Theology News has shown that those couples who plan how to
strengthen their marriage are more satisfied with their
relationship. Vincent Jeffries, a sociologist at California State
University at Northridge explored “virtue” in modern marriage.
The virtues studied were: temperance (or self-control), fortitude
(willingness to undergo hardship), justice (or fairness),
prudence (using reason to determine what is good) and charity
(doing good to the other). Couples, all of whom were married 25
years or more, were asked what they did to keep their marriage
strong.

Jeffries found that couples create rules of behavior based on
the above named virtues and these rules create the culture of the
marriage. Specific virtues also had specific effects, he found.
Using prudence to plan for having a betterrelationship
—intentionality in other words—increases marital
satisfaction. Practicing virtue, a concept that dates all the way
back to Aristotle and Thomas Aquinas, is found in many aspects of
healthy marriage from rearing children, to putting the marriage
ahead of career to setting aside family time and managing anger.
In essence, Jeffies found that the more the above virtues were
practiced, the higher the levels of marital quality and
stability. Although the concept of virtue is often associated
with religious beliefs, Jeffries noted that one doesn’t have to
be religious to be virtuous.

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