Growthtrac insidetrac, Life Changing Marriage Resources

The Complete Guide to Marriage Mentoring

Just released: A hands-on resource that covers the basics of marriage mentoring. Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott's The Complete Guide to Marriage Mentoring

This is a resource for marriage mentoring in a church setting, with a wealth of resources and tools.

This book is the first in a series of products — DVD's, workbooks, etc. — on the topic of marriage mentoring to be released between now and January.

A great way for your church to get on board with this life-changing ministry!

Check out my (Jim) contribution (page 197) on the Evangelism Factor.  Good stuff..

Engaged and Spiritually-Mismatched

Why is it that so many engaged couples are spiritually mismatched? As pre-marriage mentors, Sheri and I see many couples — around ten couples per year — where one person is not a Christian.

Often, the believer is fairly mature. He or she certainly knows what biblical Christianity is, but chooses to overlook this critical relational (and spiritual) element. Many hope for a conversion sometime in their married life, an event Lee Strobel  calls conjugal evangelism. Risky indeed.

Fortunately, we make evangelism a priority; and fortunately, God orients these couples so they are prepared to do spiritual business with us. Many come to Christ during our mentoring sessions. Fortunately.

Sometimes it's apparent we're the hired guns. The believer is praying, hoping that we'll do the "dirty work" and share Jesus with the unbelieving partner.

Other times the believer is sitting on the edge of his seat, red-faced, panicked that we'll offend his fiancé or cause conflict between them.

Our pre-marriage mentoring process is a spiritual safety net.

If you are in a spiritually mismatched dating or engaged relationship — step back, pause, and think this through. You're at a disadvantage: evangelizing the one you love can be very delicate and complex. Consider the future: It's okay to be spiritually optimistic, but consider the risk and the prospect of partnering with a non-believing spouse for a long, long time.

Are you in church leadership or in marriage ministry? I urge you to get serious about pre-marriage mentoring and make evangelism a priority.

SEX 180

Here's a book worth checking out: Sex180 by Chip Ingram. I believe it hits the book stores tomorrow.

If you lead a youth group, if you're a parent, if you know someone struggling with purity -- this is the book they need.

(The audience is highschool through twenty-something)

This is a book that goes beyond traditional answers and speaks to a culture that's tired of the old "just wait 'til you're married" ...

Newsboys Build Tent Village For Hurricane Katrina Relief Workers

The Grammy-nominated rock band, newsboys, constructed 20 tents for the temporary housing of relief workers in the Hurricane Katrina-ravaged city of Gulfport, Mississippi, on Monday.

The 20 x 20 ft. tents, formerly used as a portable music venue on the traveling Festival Con Dios tours, will serve as temporary shelters for the next few months. Volunteers from the relief agency PRC Compassion will manage the compound. PRC Compassion has been on the ground in several large cities in Mississippi and Louisiana providing supplies and support to those in need.

"After reviewing all the options for how we could provide aide to the region, we decided an appropriate first response would be to utilize the portable tents from our Festival Con Dios tours," said newsboys Band Manager/Inpop Records President Wes Campbell.

On Monday, a team of newsboys crew members, management staff and band members, including keyboardist Jeff Frankenstein and drummer Duncan Phillips, landed at the Gulfport International Airport and spent the day setting up a village that will house over 100 relief workers from various hurricane aide organizations.

"To see the devastation first hand was a real eye opener for us," said keyboardist Jeff Frankenstein, "and we felt called to help out in whatever way possible."

Additionally, newsboys are working on benefit opportunities in conjunction with its fall touring schedule, including donating all the proceeds from their October 1st show headlining Wayfest  to openchurches.com .

Provided by Inpop Records

Katrina: An Act of God?

Isn't it interesting how everyone — victims, media, churches, insurance industry — are calling this event an "act of God"? And we wonder, if there is a loving God, why would He allow something like this to take place? Did God fail to protect us? Why did He permit this heartbreak to occur? Good questions.

God never causes suffering. For sure, these are pieces to life's puzzle. But we must never forget that He is God. As such, He wants us to believe and trust in Him despite the things we don't understand.

…for God is love…There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out all fear… 1 John 4:8, 18

For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts... Isaiah 55:9

And our reply should be "Not my will, but thine be done"  Luke 22:42

The LORD hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous face many troubles, but the LORD rescues them from each and every one. Psalms 34:17-19

Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God Job 1:22

And for those enduring hardships now, it's comforting to look to the future, when things will be made right.

I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, "Look, the home of God is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will remove all of their sorrows, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. For the old world and its evils are gone forever. Revelation 21:3-4

Growthtrac Resources
Helping Katrina Victims
God's Different Kind of Algebra
The Power of Hope
The Cloud of Witnesses

The Power of Playin'

Sheri and I have been so busy lately — family, ministry, group, Growthtrac — we barely have time for "us". At the end of the day, a few words, and seconds later our heads collapse on the pillows.

It was so refreshing to escape from life this past weekend.

We know it's the right thing to do: we preach it, we promote it, we believe it. We're vacation evangelists! But actually doing it... When you're up to your neck in life's alligators, well, time away can take a back seat.

When the kids were younger, we were blessed with multiple vacations — one for the family; one for just us. You'd think it would be easier now. It aint.

Even if you can't carve out that ten-day beach vacation, there are other possibilities that can provide sufficient recharge. We relaxed at our favorite B&B for a few nights, just three hours away, on the lake in South Haven.  Check it Out.

Ahhh Just what we needed.

For your sanity (and for your marriage) take time away together.

What Do Women Want?

From the Smalley organization. Thousands of survey responses revealed that women want...

1. To “feel secure in love”. 
   
2. To have a mate that is “honest and trustworthy”. 
   

Each time you pay attention and follow through on the little things (being thoughtful, tender, helpful, interested) it is like adding a brick onto a wall around your relationship.  I do not advocate that this wall be erected without doors and windows.  That would lead to a relationship in which two of you would feel trapped rather than secure.  Instead, the fortress would be built to weather life storms (tragedy, disappointment, stress, invasions).   It is the place where two people inside the fortress can experience safety with each other and find the courage to continue on the risky journey of life.  In the end, the woman in your life will find security, honesty and trust she really wants but so will you.  Man or woman, there is no better place to be than in a relationship that is safe, honest, and filled with trust.

Intimacy Ignited

Want to explore creative lovemaking ideas based on the bible? Intimacy Ignited is the secret to a more passionate marriage. My wife Sheri says, if this doesn't fan the flames, nothing will! Sounds like an endorsement to me.

Based on the Song of Songs, Intimacy Ignited shows couples how to fire-up and maintain the flames of passionate marriage. Check it out.

Stepfamily Complexity #2

From our favorite step family resource, Ron Deal's Successful Stepfamilies, comes  a complexity of stepfamily theory that shows how stepfamilies are significantly more complex than are first families.

In our previous post we listed the life cycle of the "typical" family.

The family life cycle of the Stepfamily goes something like this:

• Factor #1: Remarriage configuration Stepfamilies are usually formed as a result of loss. That is a significant difference.
• Factor #2: Custodial Configuration When you multpily the different ways that children are involved in the stepfamily, it can get complex very quickly.
• Factor #3: Merging Family Life Cycles.When a stepfamily forms, each person is already embedded into a family life cycle stage. However, they are also entering a new family life cycle stage as well.

Stepfamily Complexity #1

From our favorite step family resource, Ron Deal's Successful Stepfamilies, comes  a complexity of stepfamily theory that shows how stepfamilies are significantly more complex than are first families.

The family life cycle of the typical family goes something like this:

1. Launch - A late teenager goes to college, gets a job, begins to take on the major responsibilities for his or her life.
2. Marriage - This person gets married to a person who has never been married. Neither have children.
3. Family Expansion - This occurs at the birth of the first child and ends at the birth of the last child. Marriage satisfaction takes hit as the demands of children are greater than expected.
4. With Young Children - Pretty self-explanatory. The couple invests lots and lots of time into children. The marriage has perhaps recovered some, but maybe not. Personality differences are exposed more than ever before as parenting and discipline issues come to the surface. Career for one or both begins to take off.
5. With Pre-teens - Puberty issues come too fast with the kids. Careers advancing. Marriage may be taking a backseat to family life.
6. With Teens - Challenges as kids are exposed to sex, drugs and various other things that are outside of the parent's control. Peer groups have more influence than parents. Parenting issues could be a challenge. Marriage may or may be good.
7. Empty Nest / Launch - The cycle starts again. Marriage is renegotiated. Maximum aerning years ahve begun.
8. Retirement - Perhaps Disney World, or perhaps depression.

We'll look at the stepfamily complicating factors in our next post.