Engaged and Spiritually-Mismatched

Why is it that so many engaged couples are spiritually mismatched? As pre-marriage mentors, Sheri and I see many couples — around ten couples per year — where one person is not a Christian.

Often, the believer is fairly mature. He or she certainly knows what biblical Christianity is, but chooses to overlook this critical relational (and spiritual) element. Many hope for a conversion sometime in their married life, an event Lee Strobel  calls conjugal evangelism. Risky indeed.

Fortunately, we make evangelism a priority; and fortunately, God orients these couples so they are prepared to do spiritual business with us. Many come to Christ during our mentoring sessions. Fortunately.

Sometimes it's apparent we're the hired guns. The believer is praying, hoping that we'll do the "dirty work" and share Jesus with the unbelieving partner.

Other times the believer is sitting on the edge of his seat, red-faced, panicked that we'll offend his fiancé or cause conflict between them.

Our pre-marriage mentoring process is a spiritual safety net.

If you are in a spiritually mismatched dating or engaged relationship — step back, pause, and think this through. You're at a disadvantage: evangelizing the one you love can be very delicate and complex. Consider the future: It's okay to be spiritually optimistic, but consider the risk and the prospect of partnering with a non-believing spouse for a long, long time.

Are you in church leadership or in marriage ministry? I urge you to get serious about pre-marriage mentoring and make evangelism a priority.

Comments

[DMW]

This is indeed risky for during engagement, we have a tendency to see what we would like to see. That is where earnest prayer and fellowship with God comes into effect. If you earnestly pray that God will direct you based on His all seeing eye, know that He will do this indeed. I look back on how God supernaturally removed many "ideal" relationships from me and placed a "less than ideal" relationship in my care and I truly see, that God was working in my behalf even when I did not know that He was. Don't jump only at those that seem righteous to your eyes, but let God lead you and trust Him when His leading is different from your thoughts. He really loves you and wants the absolute best for you.