Loving for the Long Haul

One of my favorite questions for couples that have been married for a long time is "why has your marriage been a long term success?"  The answer I consistently hear is "we are committed to one another," or "we are committed to our marriage."

Committment is something that should be part of every marriage.  It is after all, part of the marriage vows.  On the opposite side as we work with struggling marriages we frequently hear couples say that they have fallen out of love.

If we are committed to one another and committed to the marriage then how is it that people fall out of love?  In my humble opinion they have forgotten how to act like a committed married couple. 

This starts by thinking like a committed spouse.  Thinking that you will do whatever it takes to show love for your partner.  You have to more than just think about your actions, you have to demonstrate your love for your partner in ways that your partner will feel your love.  Your loving actions will lead to loving feelings in yourself and in your partner.

Simply: Loving committed thoughts, lead to loving committed actions, which lead to loving committed feelings.